Yesterday was a very scary day. After her third consecutive night of chemotherapy Daisy had become unresponsive. She could not speak or control her body and would just stare off into space. This sort of catatonic state was only interrupted by occasional crying, whimpering, puking and other bodily functions over which she had very little control. It was terrifying to see little Daisy this way.

The doctors said it was a bad neurological response to one of the three chemotherapy drugs she had been given. They have seen this before, but it is not common. They gave her a drug which they said would counteract the reaction and bring her back to a more normal state. It did not work. They gave it to her two more times. Still no effect. They wanted to give it to her again, but Kate and I refused and simply prayed knowing that they did expect her to eventually just come around. They had never seen the condition be permanent, but we were scared. What if it was permanent? What if the massive doses of chemicals they were giving her to kill the cancer had just fried her brain? It was a really tense period of time.

Praise the Lord, this morning she woke up and said “Daddy, i need to go poo.” I have never been so happy to hear about poo! She is now responding normally and doing well!! She did throw up several times throughout the night and morning and still feels a little “pukey” (as she calls it), but is doing much better. We are so relieved as we had a hard time fighting off despair the last couple of days. But are always reminded of Psalm 27:13-14 which says:

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the LORD.

I talk about some of the goodness of the Lord that we experienced during Daisy’s first battle with cancer in a sermon I gave the week she was diagnosed the second time. You can find that here: Remembering God’s previous faithfulness and redemptive kindness toward us already helps us not to lose hope currently.

After spending 13 of the last 15 days in the hospital, it looks like we are going home today or tomorrow! Daisy will be out of the hospital for 18 days and then back in for another 5 for more chemo. Let me just say, chemo sucks! Lord, help humanity find a cure for this disease!!! There has to be a better way. We have researched everything out there and for how advanced Daisy’s cancer is, this was our only viable option at the time.

Here is what the next 40 days looks like: Daisy will have to have us give her shots at home everyday that help support her immune system, since the chemo wipes it out. She will also have to have blood drawn at the cancer clinic in Santa Barbara once or twice a week. This is a lot of needles and Daisy hates “pokes” (as she calls them). Can we please pray that she has grace from God to endure the little but miserable things? After her next round of chemo (in 18 days), we wait another 18 days and then she will be scanned to see if the tumor is responding to treatment (i.e. shrinking) and able to be removed surgically either in whole or in part. Please pray that it does respond and that they are able to safely remove the whole thing. It is currently wrapped around her aorta and stomach and therefore is inoperable.

When all of that is done, we have a big decision to make. If we proceed with traditional treatment Daisy will have to undergo several more rounds of this horrific chemo and very possibly a bone marrow transplant which would leave her in an isolated room for 30 days. All of this sounds horrific to us, and we do not want to do it unless we have to. We have been exploring some alternative treatments that they are doing in Israel. They are much less destructive to your system and involve a vaccine made from the tumor cells as well as immunotherapy. We are very excited about this possibility and are praying tons about it. It would provide Daisy with a much better quality of life than chemo and has had some good success, but is very experimental and there are a lot of unknowns. We would be moving to Israel for a time and would be happy to do so. Please join us in praying about this decision… it’s huge!

Thank you for your partnership and support in all of this. We have been hearing from so many of you all over the world and have been so blessed and humbled by your love. We constantly remind ourselves of and pray for children and families that are suffering much worse but with much less support and resources. We view all of you and your love and kindness toward us as a picture of God’s grace and it causes us to rejoice. You are helping us to draw nearer to Jesus through all of this and we are always in awe of the strength and peace we find in Him.

Please forgive us for not being able to respond personally to all of your blog comments, Facebook comments, tweets and emails. But, we do read them all because they bless and encourage us so much. Thank you! We truly love you all and have experienced Christ more deeply through you as we suffer.

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Here is a picture of us all on family vacation just a month ago. It is hard to believe how quickly life changes. Please enjoy every moment of your health and with your loved ones. But above all, enjoy Jesus and know that He is able to be enjoyed even when your health and loved ones fail.